Archive | February, 2009

I Fisted a Girl and I Liked It

The first time it happened by accident. My girlfriend, Paris (stylish black femme with a misanthropic streak and penchant for obscure music —think: “um, I liked them before they were cool”) and I were in the throes of teenage lust. She was sprawled across the backseat of my car, tartan skirt hiked around her belly, […]

Bathhouse Envy

I admit it, I’m jealous. Seething with an insatiable desire and perpetual (phantom) hard-on. “It was…almost too good to be true,” my friend reminisces, grinning vacuously while I turn over his brand-new Steamworks membership card in my hand. “I could basically get anything I wanted!” I congratulate him and demand he describe every room in […]