An Especially Dirty Santa Gift Guide


Ah, that wonderful time of year has rolled around again. The snow has started falling, the hot cider is flowing, and the invitations for Dirty Santa parties are pouring in. But nothing kills the festive mood more than boring gifts. I’m already getting nightmares about horrible smelling candles, those “funny” holiday ornaments that will most likely break before the night is over, and, god forbid, home baked goods from friends who really ought to leave it to Betty Crocker. Yawn. Why not spice things up and claim the role of the coolest person in the room by getting your gift at Tulip? We’ve got fun toys and great gifts that people will actually love for any budget!


Dirty Santa: $10 and Under

One Touch Mini Bullet Vibrator ($9) – The perfect stocking stuffer, this mini vibe is wonderfully powerful, and can be paired with a dildo with a bullet reservoir or simply be used on its own as a great beginner’s vibe.

– Crazy Girl Clitoral Arousal ($10) – Instead of “Ho ho ho” say “Oh oh OH!” with this clitoral arousal cream.

– Gay Pride Flag ($10) – What better way to show your pride this holiday season than waving your flag high? And the rainbow colors will really pop against the snowy landscape!

Kama Sutra Lover’s Body Paint ($10) – It’s a common misconception that holiday sweets have to be reserved to candy canes and sugar lumps. Why not spread the love on the one you love with decadent chocolate?


– Batteries (price varies) – Santa’s sleigh might run on magic, but you’ll need batteries for our toys. Save your friends the disappointment of an awesome toy they have to wait to use and throw some batteries in their stocking.

Tenga Egg ($8) – Give your Yule log a little love this holiday season! This elastomer egg expands drastically to a snug fit, making it a wonderful stroker.



Dirty Santa: $15 and Under

Double Bullet with Cord ($13) – A personal favorite here at Tulip, this simple yet surprisingly powerful vibe is sure to heat up your chilly nights.

Nipple Bell Clamps ($15) – Because we can all agree that it’s time that Carol of the Bells got an upgrade.


50 Days of Play ($14) – Make sure your friends aren’t only playing with dreidels or snowballs this holiday season. This game is packed with intimate and romantic gestures, stimulating scenarios, naughty suggestions and erotic surprises.

Pure Instinct Pheromone Perfume ($12) – The perfect gift to make sure everyone’s full range of senses and attention is on them this holiday season.

Bondage Tape ($15) – Not all presents can fit in a gift bag. Wrap up your favorite gift with tape that only sticks to itself, not your skin or hair! It’s all of the fun with none of the pain.


– JO Naughty or Nice Gift Set ($12) –The set comes with candy cane and gingerbread flavored lubricants that are sweetened using a pure plant source glycerin which gives it a smooth, silky glide. Now you can enjoy your holiday treats in the kitchen and the bedroom.

Mood Stroker ($13) – Here’s a chimney for your own Santa to go down.

Handcuffs ($12) – The perfect gift for when you know your friends have been especially naughty this year.



Dirty Santa: $30 and Under

Fuzzy Handcuffs ($18-19) – The perfect accessory for your ugly Christmas sweater party.

Cocolicious Lipstick Vibe ($24) – All I want for Christmas are good vibes! This lipstick vibe is not only amazingly discreet, but ridiculously powerful with 8 functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation and may be used in or out of the shower.


– Dona Kissable Massage Candle ($20) – This aphrodisiac and pheromone infused massage candle will definitely set the mood this holiday season.



And if you happen to be filthy stinking rich and want to go down in history as a better gift-giver than Dirty Santa, try the Inez by Lelo! This $14,850, 24K gold vibe is guaranteed to fit in your lap of luxury.





Whatever your budget, you can be the coolest person at the next gift swap you attend. From of all us at Tulip, we wish you Happy Holidays and great sex!


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