Ok, so I just pulled The Whole Lesbian Sex Book off of the shelf here and opened it to what page? That’s right, the vaginal fisting chapter. It’s a sign and I am going to take it and go deeply (but not too deep) into explaining one of my favorite sexual practices. So sit back, but most of all: relax.
First off, what is “Fisting”? Fisting is the term used for inserting an entire hand into someone’s vagina or anus. Although fisting sounds somewhat forceful, it is actually a remarkably gentle and tender activity that requires a great deal of patience and trust between two people. Here, I will be focusing on vaginal fisting.
If the thought of an entire fist fitting inside you or your partners vagina sounds impossible, remember that the vagina is made of muscle and it is designed to let a
ten-pound baby pass through it. I am not suggesting that everyone should try fisting because they are capable of it, but that by following a few safety tips, it is possible for vaginal fisting to be very sensuous and a regular part of a sexual repertoire.
As a very important note, please do not ever attempt to fist or be fisted if you or your partner is in any kind of drunken or altered state. Fisting requires one’s undivided attention. Plus, it is a remarkable and beautiful experience and you want to be ready for it!
Fisting shouldn’t hurt. If it hurts you are doing it wrong and you need to slow down and communicate. Fisting is a very communicative sport. You should feel comfortable telling your partner what feels good and bad or asking the same questions of them.
First, take off all of your bracelets, rings or any other jewelry. For safer sex, you can use a latex glove. Apply a nickel-sized about of lube to the palm of your hand and work it over your fingers and hand. Sliquid Organics Lube works great for this because it is organic and paraben free. It is especially good for people who have experienced allergic reactions in the past.
The fistee will be most comfortable lying on her back or propped up on her elbows and knees face-down. The fister will want to have both hands free and be sitting comfortably. Take your time inserting one, two, three fingers or maybe even a medium sized silicone dildo such as a Vamp Talula Medium to get her used to the sensation of feeling full.
Use plenty of whatever additional stimulation she likes such as with a small Lelo Nia Vibrator.
Again slowly insert one finger at a time until you are up to four. Your palm should be facing her stomach. She can use the technique of exhaling as she bears down on your fingers. This will allow more of you to slide into her. Apply more lube to your hand and wrist if necessary. There is no such thing as too much lube, here. Take your time and be gentle. There is no such thing as a fisting “quickie.”
You will probably find yourself instinctively making the “duck” position with your hands. This means that all of your fingers are together inside your partner and shaped like a duck beak. If she is well-aroused the moment will come where your knuckles slip past the outer muscles of her vagina and your entire hand is enveloped into her vagina. Look down and you will see your wrist end and your partner begin. Congratulations, but your work is not over yet. At this point it is up to the both of you to establish what kinds of movements feel the best to your partner. Some people prefer a twisting motion.
Communicate and find what kinds of stimulation she enjoys while she is being fisted. This is no time to ignore the rest of her body! With plenty of time and practice, you and your partner can learn to have quaking powerful orgasms from being fisted!