Attention class, we are about to study the most misjudged and guided section of our sexual past, present and future. It's a little-discussed and often practiced form of sex play that is often thought of as so "naughty" that we only give it initials - BDSM. Roll out the pens and take notes. There are no initials allowed in this class.

B is for bondage

D is for dominance or discipline

S is for sadism (gratification via pain)

M is for masochism (gratification via submission)

That was the hardest part of this lesson. The rest is easy or as complicated as you want it to be. Once considered the "whips and chains' of the sex toy industry BDSM has gained in popularity as women and men reach out to grab their fantasies and to explore the limits and boundaries of their own sexual dynamics.

And listen up - communication and safety are key words in this fascinating and very hot category. Make certain from the beginning that you and your partner can communicate. Set limits. Define what you are looking for and if you don't know, begin slowly so that you can discover and enjoy in a safe environment.

BDSM can be as simple as inflicting a soft spanking or receiving one or strapping someone to the wall and whipping them with deliciously thin pieces of red leather until they tell you they want you like they have never wanted you.

Let's be honest here. Some of us want to be taken and some of us want to take. Some of us love the unbelievably beautiful idea of totally surrendering to someone and being under their complete control and some of us love, cherish and tremble at the idea of being able to control someone, mold them, hold them, so to speak in the palm of our hands.

Although BDSM is considered not mainstream sex it is much more mainstream than many of us are willing to admit. Has your lover ever tied you to the bed with a silk scarf?  Have you ever gotten turned on when you have slapped your girlfriend's absolutely lovely and firm bottom? Have you ever dreamed of walking into a room dressed in leather and ordering everyone to strip? Are you hot yet? Welcome to BDSM.

Some people get off on controlling and in the BDSM world are called "tops". Some get off on being controlled and we call them "bottoms". Think - slave/master, queen/slave girl, teacher/student. It's a game many of us love to play. When the pace quickens the game gets a little rougher. Some people love to be whipped. Some love to use chains, some SM lovers have designed elaborate rooms to live out their fantasies in a way that fulfills all their desires.

Consensual activities in the BDSM area are obligatory. BDSM is safe and erotic and very satisfying only if both parties sign on the dotted line and agree to the activities. Pain in this world often becomes intense stimulation but only if the surrender, the control and the trust is an understood and respected part of the entire process.

BDSM offers players the chance to turn a fantasy into a reality and promises sexual fulfillment and more than fun to those who honor power exchange and can fall into the experience in a safe manner with a partner who is willing to play.