How to Give a Sex Toy (to someone you don’t have sex with)

I’m not sure Emily Post covers this in her etiquette guide, but a sex toy or book can be a wonderfully considerate gift, assuming you know the person fairly well. As cute and flirty as that barista is, he probably won’t find it charming to receive a surprise vibrator in return for your morning latte. Buying a gift as a couple is a whole other can of worms, and we have a “How To” for that, but buying a gift for a friend or family member can be a unique expression of affection as well. Yes, sex toys are often a taboo subject, but they are also a perfectly normal and enjoyable way to promote well-being and self-esteem. Giving a toy is definitely a risk, and you have to know your friend to know whether or not it will offend or freak her out too much. However, many people will appreciate that you thought of them, and almost everyone loves when someone notices that they are a lusty, sexual being. Plus, it shows that you care about their satisfaction and happiness!

Like with any gift you give, the spirit in which it is given is more important than the actual gift. You don’t need to empty your bank account, but be thoughtful in your choice. Giving a gift from Tulip can open up a healthy conversation and give you the opportunity to share something that is important to you. Look at sex toys as an opportunity to get something your friend wouldn’t necessarily get for himself. Maybe he hasn’t even thought of getting a toy for himself, but you can help open up new experiences for him. A few examples:

If your girlfriend has been talking about her curiosity and hesitations about anal sex, maybe giving her a fun collection like BookSmart’s beginner anal set, “The Other Door,” would be a humorous choice. Maybe it’ll sit aside as a joke gift, but maybe she’ll try it out on her own.

Your brother-in-law may thank you profusely for bestowing the classy Lelo prostate massager, Bob, upon him. That’s if you’re daring! A safe gift for any guy would be a Tenga Flip Air; like the Fleshlight, but with a more aesthetically pleasing design and easier cleaning process.

Your mother will appreciate that you recognize she is a vital woman when you give her the wonderful Still Doing It. It’s about much more than sex.

And keep a couple extra copies of The Ethical Slut or another of your favorite reads for those sexually enlightened friends of yours.

When it comes to giving a higher-end toy, like a Lelo or Fun Factory vibrator, there needs to be some discussion. It can be an incredibly generous gesture on your part, but you should know what your friend wants in a vibrator before making that purchase. But if she continually admires the silky-smooth, full-bodied Elise when she walks into Tulip…go ahead and make her day!

And just for their consideration, don’t ask for feedback once you’ve given your gift. Once that toy is into their hands it’s up to them when they use it and how much they enjoy it. But I will say: Of all the gifts I gave this Christmas, I received the most thanks (again and again and again) from those who received presents from Tulip.

BookSmart’s The Other Door – need
Lelo Bob – need
Tenga Flip Air – need
Still Doing It – need
The Ethical Slut –
Lelo Elise –