Greetings From the Top: A very quick look at topping from a newly discovered dominant

Does your idea of foreplay include…

blindfolding your partner so that they are entirely unable to see when and where your next touch will be?
dripping, or perhaps ever pouring, scorching candle wax onto their unsuspecting flesh?
handcuffing them to the bed, or better yet, tying their hands behind their back, eliminating their ability to push you away?

During sex, do you find yourself…

giving your partner’s ass a good spanking or dig and drag your nails into and across their back?
with a wonderful chunk of their hair in your clenched fist, yanking their head whichever way you decide they should be looking?
pronouncing what you’re going to do to them and calling them things that would make you think twice before kissing your mother again?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, chances are that you’ve got a little dominant in you that’s just dying to be unleashed.

Many people hear the four magical letters, BDSM ( an abbreviation for bondage and discipline/domination and submission/sadism and masochism)and begin to shudder in fear as horrifying images of a man down on all fours, donning a saddle, braying louder and louder until his trainer feeds him another carrot or
an abnormally large woman dressed head-to-toe in leather, smug and smiling, stomping on a defenseless pair of testicles begin to flood their minds…

Relax. While Pony Play and Cock and Ball Torture are both major facets of the BDSM culture, your own play can be as intense and unusual as the comfort levels of you and your consenting partner will allow. It all depends on discovering just exactly what sensations, roles, and other wonderful kinks you find pleasurable. Not to mention, a partner whom you trust and feel comfortable with that has little or no qualms about indulging your previously unspeakable fantasies and desires.

In fact, you may find that BDSM play can be extremely therapeutic, exorcising demons of the past through reenactment. It can also help to balance out one’s conditioned and automatic thoughts and responses to themselves and others throughout day-to-day existence. Just in the few months that I’ve become increasingly exposed to my inclination toward topping, I see my overall disposition and self-awareness shifting, always more positively. I walk a little taller, feel much more comfortable in my body, and can better own my power and sexuality as a woman. In “real-world” situations where I would often become very passive, submissive, apologize frequently and comply with any suggestion of superiority in another individual, I am now saying sorry less, agreeing less, compromising less, regaining my autonomy and getting back in touch with my own feelings and determinations . It’s a fascinating phenomenon.

Whether you intend to use your first BDSM session as a means of catharsis, or are just curious as to how a long, heavy, leather flogger would feel in your enclosed palm as you stood above your awaiting partner…
Tulip has got you covered!

We carry a very large selection of devices: blindfolds; ropes, in softer or rough; wrist and ankle restraints, collars and leashes, all crafted by Aslan Leather; our own reusable, self-sticking bondage tape; nipple clamps; ball gags; spreader bars; canes, wood and metal; riding crops; paddles, in a number of shapes and sizes; luxe steel cock rings; and let’s not forget our collection of floggers. Some are plastic and one leaves a wonderfully glowing red tire tread on the inflicted flesh. My favorite floggers are custom made right here in Chicago by Chicago Tool Works. No two floggers are exactly the same but all are beautifully crafted works of art.

Some highly recommended book titles for the individual or couple that is just entering the wonderful realm of BDSM are SM101 by Jay Wiseman, a go-to-guide for the fundamentals of BDSM and a must for every savvy top; Bondage On a Budget edited by Alison Tyler, a collection of stories that will tantalize and teach, arranged alphabetically by object; Sex Tips From a Dominatrix by Patricia Payne, another awesome introduction book full of helpful tips; finally, She’s On Top and He’s On Top, both edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel are both collections of erotic short stories featuring female and male dominance, respectively. If it’s visual stimulation you prefer, be sure to pick up a copy of Fashionistas, a four-disc Evil Empire production, featuring porn superstars Rocco Siffredi and Belladonna. This gem boasts scene upon steamy scene covering a multitude of fetishes; undoubtedly some you wouldn’t have previously imagined getting a thrill out of…

Have an exquisitely tortured time everyone!

XOXO

Alexandra

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