My new lady says that the lube I have been using makes her lady parts “burn and hurt”after we have sex. Is there something wrong
with her? I used this lube with my last girlfriend and she never complained.
Lubed and Loaded
Dear Lubed and Loaded,
In the Land of Better Loving with Lube: Every lady (and man) prefers what feels good to her (or him), and EVERY PERSON is different.
The delicate skin of a vagina or anus can be super sensitive and some need extra care. Your current lady has nothing WRONG with her. She may just be more sensitive than your last girlfriend was, and has different needs.
You don’t say what type of lube you are using, so we’ll start at the beginning. There are basically 3 types of lube. Water based, silicone based and oil based. Each one of them has different properties and preferred uses.
Some water based lubricants contain glycerin, and the preservatives propylene glycol and paraben, both of which can produce irritation and contact dermatitis. Paraben is made from petrochemicals; and isn’t something I would willingly introduce into my own body, or that of my lady. Many ladies and men have trouble with paraben. For sensitive folks, I always suggest a lube that does not contain any of these ingredients. Alcohol is also sometimes found in water based lubes, alcohol can certainly contribute to skin irritation.
“SO why do so many people use water based lubes, Daddy?” you say….Well, water based lubes are very popular because they are condom
safe, come in flavors, won’t degrade those delicious and safe silicone toys of yours, and many people feel they are easier to clean up after
because they don’t “stain” like oil based or silicone based lubricants. Still, they are not for everyone. Some water based lubricants can dry out faster, need to be reapplied during the act and some can get tacky or sticky. TULIP carries several naturally formulated, water based lubes that don’t contain glycol, propylene glycerin and are also paraben free.
Some lubes I personally recommend are Good Clean Love’s Natural formula, Kama Sutra’s, Love Liquid, and Sliquid’s, Organic Infused line, because they stay slippery, have good staying power, don’t get tacky and do not have any weird “taste” to them.
If your new lady is a real Sweetie Sensitivo, you may want to consider a silicone based lube, as long as you’re not using a silicone toy.
Silicone is super thin; thus it is slicker than water based lubes. I find It’s really great for masturbating, and vaginal or anal intercourse, with or without condoms. Many silicone lubes are condom safe now, and they tend to stay slicker, longer than their water based counterparts. Uberlube is my personal favorite. It is a silicone based lube that is condom safe, hypo allergenic, flavor and fragrance free, re-wets with saliva and dries to a powdery finish when the lovin’ is done. Tulip stocks several good silicone based lubes. I also like Pjur, Wet Platinum, Swiss Navy, and Gun Oil.
The one major drawback to silicone lubes, is that they should not be used with silicone
toys. The sad fact is that silicone lube degrades silicone toys. You can work around this little inconvenience by putting a condom on your favorite silicone toys (make sure the condom isn’t pre-lubricated with silicone based lube). Then you can use ANY condom safe lube you chose! This also makes cleaning your toys a snap!
There is one last variety of lube worth mentioning L&L; but it may not apply to the type of play you and the new lady engage in. Who knows? We’re talking about lube here, and I’m not skimping on the good, lube loving, info here! Someone else could find this information helpful! The third type of lubricant is usually referred to as oil based. It is usually NOT condom safe, and often comes in a thick cream that is excellent for anal fisting and male masturbating, because it traditionally stays very slick and provides a thick, creamy, and friction-less action. Tulip carries Elbow Grease for folks who find a need for this heavy duty workhorse of a lube.
I never recommend that products of this nature be used on a lady’s vagina, because it contains petrochemicals. Remember them? They’re really not good for your body!
In closing, Lubed and Loaded, I hope you see that there is NOTHING WRONG with your new lady; it’s that your old lube should have been tossed with the old girlfriend.